Comparing yourself to others? Read on

By Lisa Seppala, True North Implementation

During these past few weeks, I’ve visited with friends, family, and colleagues in a few different places. I was surprised in a few situations where I left these interactions feeling slightly ‘less than’ – less sophisticated, accomplished, thin, or gorgeously dressed, with a less impressive house, yard, neighbourhood, or vehicle. While surprising, the feeling was also fleeting, as I quickly got myself back into a positive, confident state by looking at things from a different perspective.

Rather than dwell on ‘what I am lacking’, I focused on:

• people and things I’m grateful for and that are important to me;
• my purpose and values; and,
• goals I’ve committed to achieving this year, goals that will bring me closer to realizing the vision I have for myself and my work.

The specifics of the above focus areas are unique to me. Taking the time to think this through helped me get back on track and stop comparing myself to others and their situations.

In addition, I also took time to reflect on the things I admired about the people and places I had visited. This opened me up to further opportunities for growth and development and made me see the people and places in a new light. With this fresh perspective, I focused on what I could learn from them and adopt in my own life.

I’ve read several books and articles that advise against comparing yourself to others, as it is a primary source of unhappiness. While I agree, I also believe that making comparisons is human nature and challenges our innate sense of fairness. Comparing yourself to others doesn’t always have to be a bad thing if you can learn from it and use it for growth.

The experience I’ve related above is likely a common one for many. Now that you’ve read my method of dealing with feeling slightly ‘less than’, I’m curious to learn about your methods when experiencing similar situations and feelings.